I did not look for any deceit in what you posted, at all but gave you the benefit of the doubt (why wouldn't I?). I am saddened to learn that my candor may have been wasted (or so you suggest) because you were never serious to begin with (or you now wish me to believe).
I have just read your post Shelby and I cannot understand what your point is. I have been totaly honest with you and meant every word I said.
I cannot be jealous that Jesus talks to you and not me if I don't belive he exists. What I can be, is jealous of is your illusion which I am unable to share. Illusion offers comfort and respite from reality. It is a luxury I don't enjoy. Of course you belive that I along with many non theists and Christians are deluded. This is of course why we debate these positions on the forum.